Wednesday 5 August 2009

Sunnah Wedding

Coming from a very conservative, proper and conventional family, one thing I like about my in-laws is that they are very spontaneous. This used to wind me up royally, but now it seems like a fun way to be…sometimes.

My husband picked me up from work yesterday, and causally dropped into conversation that we were invited to a wedding that evening. Well that was the first I had heard of it.

So I got home, pulled out the one trusty dressy abaya that I wear to every function and then hunted down clothes for the children. I ended up putting them in the clothes they wore to their uncles wedding in Pakistan last year (you can never be overdressed for a Pakistani wedding). Of course one of the shirts needed to be fished out of the laundry basket and washed and ironed within the hour, my husbands missing shalwar from his shalwar kameez outfit had to be found and ironed and the baby’s missing trousers had to be replaced with ones that didn’t quite match. Oh and the mother-in-law’s outfit had to be ironed because she can’t see very well and Little Lady’s feet had to be squeezed into shoes that didn’t quite fit, but matched, so tough! Then mother-in-law got the idea that Fashionista Sister should come too, in her ordinary day clothes, whether she likes it or not. Fash’s response to this was fleeing the house.

Eventually we got to the wedding, which was in the upstairs of a local restaurant. It was nothing like any wedding I have been to before. There were about 40 guests (rather than the usual 400-1000), the women’s area was totally partitioned off and at the time for evening prayer, a shaykh gave a lovely speech and then proceeded to lead almost the whole wedding party in salah in jamaat (congregational prayer). The groom had no family here as he was from Pakistan and the bride was a very sweet girl who had recently converted from Hinduism to Islam, so only had her brothers attend.

Of course my children had to do their part to make the evening memorable for me, Little Lady burst into tears right in front of the bride as she came in because I told her she couldn’t give the bride her present as this was her gran’s job. The bride kindly got her to stop crying and was so nice to her. Then it went quiet whilst we all prayed and all you could hear was the baby shouting very loudly. Little Man took monkey nuts with him in his pocket, on seeing this I told him to put them away and stop throwing the shells on the floor and the next thing I see is that he is till eating them but putting the shells into the breast pocket of his jacket.

It was nice that there was no music, no mixing with men and that we could sit and enjoy a halal meal without any of the guilt that some weddings induce. Also, I am so used to seeing the petty politics, intrigues and arguments that erupt at desi weddings, that it felt wonderful that everyone seemed so genuinely to wish this lovely new couple well and hope that they have a happy future ahead of them.


  1. Awww alhamdulillah it sounds so nice! My dream is to attend a halal wedding in our area, not over the top, not mixed, and no music. inshaAllah ta'ala, it's good to know there is someone out there trying to do it right, alhamdulilla!

  2. I love your blow by blow accounts of ordinary days. The details are always pleasant, espeically when it comes to your children. So cute. Im sure you all looked lovely, and its so good of you to be good natured about something so spontaneous. I probably would have thrown a hissy fit.


  3. masha'allah.. sounds nice.. ameen to your duaa too :D

  4. assalamaleikum, it sounds like you enjoyed yourself, like iMuslimah says the details in your writing make it a pleasure to read often invoking a smile on my face. as a mother of three myself its nice to read about your children and relate your stories to my own life.

  5. As Salamu Alaikum. I love your blog. As a working Muslima who is trying to do things the right way I can definitely relate to your stories. Hope you keep smiling!