Wednesday 7 January 2009

Busy Mum - Busy Kids

Keeping in mind some of the difficulties/upset we have been experiencing with family, it has been a relief that home life has been fairly calm. My focus on the moment is on the children's tarbiyyah and education. The most important part of this is teaching Little Lady Quran, which has been a big struggle for both of us in the past few weeks, especially with lapses on my part. My husband has been helping me the last week or so by reminding us both that it is Quran time (or sabaq time as we call it). We are progressing slowly but well having learnt the alphabet, the vowel sounds and the different forms of the letters when they join to form a word. Some of the letters can be confusing (the different forms of Ain ﻌ‎ and Ha ﺤ‎ for example) and to get round this I have been picking a letter that she is making mistakes with and writing all of the forms of it for her to copy (ﻉ‎ ﻊ‎ ﻌ‎ ﻋ‎). Hopefully this will also come in useful later if she learns to write Arabic or Urdu insh'Allah. A few people have questioned whether it is possible for me to teach Little Lady at home well enough (with the best if intentions) and this has undermined my confidence a little. Although my dad teaches Quran at the mosque, I do not want to send her there and I don't think he will have time to teach her at home. I am happy with the way she is progressing, but I worry that if there are mistakes in my mukhaarij (pronunciation) I will pass these on. The other option we have looked at is getting a teacher to come to our home. My husband will be looking into this .

Our other problem is concentration, I can be dreamy and scatty at the best of times and she is certainly my daughter! I find myself asking her to come back to the page, to concentrate, to put her finger after every word or letter at times which is hard work for me and annoying for her. I wonder if cartoons are contributing to this, because as soon as she comes home from school she is on Youtube watching Tom and Jerry. I plan to put a password on the computer as a five-year old should not be using the internet unsupervised anyway. I think I will be looking at gentle ways to improve concentration, really though, I am realising it is all about persistence, determination and practice.

We are also practising the names of Allah (she has learmed about eight) and this is one part we both enjoy. I want to teach her Al-Fatihah insh'Allah which she recognises snatches of because her dad makes her recite it at bedtime. I will have to think about how to start with this.

On the schooling side, she is still getting lots of homework to support what she is learning in class which is good but maybe a bit too much for her age (I didn't get homework till high school). At home I am getting her to practice writing her numbers and working on her handwriting and spelling. She can simple books read herself now mash'Allah which is a milestone and something I am immensely proud of her for (I always felt that once my children learnt to read, the world would open up for them and they could begin to choose their own paths and interests in learning).

Sometimes I feel a bit guilty that I keep her busy this way (especially as I don't believe in hot-housing children), but I feel like I have to look at longer-term goals. Our local high school is the one I went to and I am adamant my children will not go there (low standards, high delinquency, smoking, truancy and general low expectations). So my options are Islamic School which I may not be able to afford and often don't meet standards of teaching, trying for another school which is a very long shot due to over-subscription or grammar schools which our area have two of the best in the country (plus they are gender-segregated). Maybe home-schooling would be a last resort if nothing else worked.

I have also started Little Man on his Arabic Alphabet, he picked up Alif and Ba with no problem, but doesn't want to progress any further so we have been practising Ta and Thaa reluctantly for days with him insisting that he only wants to read Alif Baa. At the moment he is in seventh heaven about going to school, but comes home exhausted and feels asleep as soon as he has eaten (he was very proud of the yellow sticker his teacher gave him). I also hope to start teaching him his numbers and alphabet soon.

Gorgeous is the source of so much pleasure for me at the moment alhamdulillah. All mothers suffer from guilt at some time or other with regards to if they are doing enough or not, but even more so when you are a working mum. I have always worried about bonding, especially with my youngest as when maternity leave ended my in-laws were staying with me and spent the most time with the baby often letting him sleep with them. He liked to play unhindered and didn't like to be held in my lap or cuddled which I found disheartening. At least when Little Man was small I was expecting Gorgeous and on maternity leave, so we had time to really bond. Recently though I am seeing a change. As soon as I get home he gets into my arms and pretty much stays in my lap or at my side till he falls asleep. The sheer peace, comfort and pleasure I get from holding him beats anything else.


  1. LOL... Baby looks well Aggravated, He's got a gangster dnt-mess-with-me-look going on..

  2. Assalam sister,
    have been reading your blog only for a few days, but am totally in love with it....
    i love those cards and jewellery you've made....
    SubhanAllah, they're beautiful....

    the beautiful way in which you write bout ur children makes me want to be a mummy reeeeealy son :)

    and Alhamdulillah you have beautiful kids.
    may Allah bring up them in complete eemaan.

    take care :)
    Khuda hafiz

  3. salaam sister
    you have a lovely blog mashallah :)

  4. as salamu alaykum

    may Allah reward u for your effort insh'Allah!

    Maybe u could buy this (unless u've got it already):

    and repeat the surahs that your daughter is memorizing. I think it's a very good tool mash'Allah!

  5. ps: I meant repeating them with her

  6. Fash,
    he just looks worried to me. He kept laughing and every time he saw the camera would peer into it. You know he's impossible to get a picture of.

    Walaikam-assalam Sister Almas,
    Jazakh'Allah-khairun for your kind comments and dua's. I have lots of plans for cards and jewellery once things settle down here (lots of half-started projects).
    BTW My little girl is mermaid-crazy and loves your picture.

    Assalam-alaikam Sister Aqila,
    Jazakh'Allah-khairun for your kind comments.

    Assalam-alaikam Sister Umm Almujahid
    Ameen to your dua.
    I think I found the Quran practice CD's you mean, and they are quite reasonable. Might try these.
    Jazakh'Allah-khairun for the pointer.