Monday 18 August 2008

A Wedding in August

I have spent all of last week trying to work out whether or not I would be going to my cousin’s nikah (marriage contract ceremony) or not. Bride’s mum has had a tiff with my mum-in-law, mum-in-law refused to go to brides relatives wedding and then decided not to invite them to brother-in-laws wedding. My mum was cross because her daughter was being left out as they invited everyone but me and hubby. So I made my mum some gifts (post below) to take with her and asked her to send the bride and her family my love and say congratulations for me (It feels great being on your high-horse).

Didn’t last long, because mum threw a wobbly and they invited me. Hubby was annoyed as he had been ordered by mum-in-law not to go. I was enjoying being all self-righteous and so told hubby that whatever he decides I’ll go with it. In the end he spoke to the imam at his mosque who advised that it would be better to go and end the fighting and bad feeling and then talk his parents round.

So off we went yesterday and had a lovely afternoon. It was our first wedding in the UK for almost thirty years, so no-one had a clue. So on seeing the brides mothers worried look, me and my sisters took over the kitchen and laid out the tables in the garden. It was great fun!! We got the kids busy hunting down chairs from all over the house (they even dragged a load over from the neighbours), laid out the crockery and drinks and got mum and her sister to dish out the food. I got to play hostess (had practice from brother-in-laws wedding) – “drink, drink, you need drink? Anyone need anything?” – and managed to pour coke in someone’s rice. Little lady and my little cousin even cleared up the garden afterwards running around with black bags and a little dust-pan and brush.

I was also on loo-duty and gran and little man kept me busy between them (I counted seven trips in all).

It was absolutely blissful to have the whole family together as this is so rare even though there are not that many of us here and there was lots of laugter and teasing and jokes. Only thing now though is that we have to face the music from the in-laws (I’m hoping they are here for Ramadan and we can drag them to the walimah).


  1. As salam alaykum!Ohhhh.... balancing between one's own wishes, one's in laws wishes and one's parents wishes is such a tricky situation! Tell me all about it....luckily, hubby and you got the go ahead from the imam so you are on morally higher ground than MIL,on this I pray you won't have too much convincing to do! :)

  2. assalamualikum sis.
    i know such situations are such trials.
    i get strained out even thinking of being in such a scenario.

  3. Assalam-alaikam Sister Indyana,
    I'm just gonna play dumb and act like i just followed what better half decided, which is not very fair, but makes for an easier life.

    Assalam-alaikam Sister Ummsaaz,
    It's not too bad, my in-laws are sweeties, also they are far away (in Pakistan) and also they know that I don't take a blind bit of notice of anyone but hubby - so they can whinge away, hee hee.

  4. i think you should lock them all in a room and letthem ahevit all out (even better would be death-match style)
    all this is soo annoying and easily avoidable with a bit of consideration!