Friday 13 June 2008

Self-Sabotage and Sulks…and Happy Jummah Day

Why oh why oh why do we do this to ourselves? I know I can’t be the only one. We work hard, we try hard to be good mothers and wives and Muslimah’s. We dress modestly and elegantly and behave gracefully in public. People respect us for our manners, kindness and professional conduct. We get good food reputations for our capability at work, at home and in our communities. Then we decide to throw a wobbly and behave like an ungrateful, selfish child.

Sorry, not we, that’s what I did today. I made dua for something at fajr and alhamdulillah I happened for me in the way I had asked, I thought "great this day is going my way" Then when I went to the optician and things didn’t go my way (I have to wear glasses for another month which I have had enough of), I had a little internal hissy-fit. I’ve been wearing contact lenses for ten years and got told in winter I have dry-eyes and need to wear specs for a couple of months. I expected to get my contact lenses back today, but was told to give it another month. I really had my hopes up, I really wanted to look nice for my other half today and surprise my colleagues at work by looking different. When the optician said to wait another month, I got seriously peeved. First I wanted to punch him; then I refused to speak to him properly. After I left I phoned hubby and whinged tearfully. I’m not sure either of us could figure out what had brought this on, but I wasn’t in the mood to be sensible. He called me again at work and I ended up complaining about looking horrible, wanting to spend more time with him, his dodgy Pakistani-style time-keeping and the amount of junk sitting in my garden and the spare room. Alhamdullilah he was his patient, sensible self and I hung-up feeling better (although my manager walked in on me in the ladies whilst I was yakking away tearfully – she must think I am a quack).

I’ve realised there’s a kind of pattern. I explode in temper/tears about once every three or four months or so. It usually lasts a day or two and once its over with and I’ve had a good vent with my better half, I seem to be happy enough until the next time. I wonder if it’s some kind of pressure release system built into my brain or something. Anyway if you look on the bright side, getting rage four times a year is not too bad going, especially seeing as the timing is so predictable.

Anyway, I feel better now, I’ve just had a lovely lunch of South Asian food (mmm masala dosa ) with some very nice colleagues and managed to blow my work computer up (it went POP! – and the IT bods had to take it away). There was also a dental hygiene fair in the main hall in the town hall I work in, so I got free toothbrushes and kiddies paste for all the kids, plus a little brushing time egg-timer and a chart to get them to brush every day.

It's Friday so I’m going to mum’s later and will sit with gran a while (I’ve bought her vanilla fudge). Jummah Mubarak everyone. Remember to make dua for yourselves on this special day.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him) it is related that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) talked about Friday and said: "There is such an hour on Friday that if any Muslim makes dua (supplication) in it, his dua will definitely be accepted." And He (Peace be upon him) pointed out the shortness of that time with his hands. (Bukhari and Muslim).

1 comment:

  1. I used to have a breakdown as well. Like that. I think sometimes we do need to. It's just us. It's not that we not strong. Sometimes we try to cope with things that out of our reach. We win at that time but it does left kind of lime scale after that..

    May be I'm wrong, but, I used to work and having 3 small children. Than 4 children. Without any relative I can go to here in UK. I been working full time nearly 7 years. Now, I'm full time mum. I think, I nearly forgot when last time I ever breakdown. May be not since I been at home last December.

    It's nice to work, but the day for us is tiring doesn't matter how we try to keep it nice and plan. It's still...When I used to work, I think I'm strong. I used to work up to 16 hours a day. But, my life and my family life I feel like change 180 degree since I'm not working anymore. It has big impact and I never get grumpy as I do get.

    Anyway, sometimes there things we can't avoid. Insya Allah when your children getting bigger, than you will find your life more ease. Also when you getting older, you will not get carry away easily anymore. Anyway, 4 times a year not bad!!