Friday 24 October 2008

Keeping All The Balls in the Air.

How relieved I am it is Friday again. I have struggled this week. The work has been building up at the office, the builders have been taking my house apart despite my husbands assurances any mess would be contained to one room (yeah right!! Does Bob the Builder know this?). This week I was beginning to have real doubts about I was going to manage. Due to the workload and the type of work I am doing right now, I have not been my usual cheery, chirpy self and I was desperate not to be the office whinger. I was late home yesterday just trying to get some work out of the way and this meant that everything at home was behind time. I was home and straight into the kitchen where I tried to rush dinner and wash-up at the same time and just ended up burning the food to the bottom of the pan. The boiler went on the blink because the builders unwittingly took a pipe apart so the cold water and open doors (builders again) meant that my hands were numb before the dishes were done. My graceful, grateful, adult response to all this? Bursting into tears. In front of the children. They watched in fascination as I slunk up to my bedroom where I remembered that I had my daughters Parents Consultation Evening to get to – an hour ago. I was mortified, we had both forgotten because we were too busy doing things!! I felt terrible. I wondered how I could be good at anything: being a mother and teacher to my children, a wife, an employee, if I could not give sufficient time and thought to any of these roles.

I had some chocolate and reflected a bit. Then I had some more chocolate (Belgian milk chocolate with vanilla). I considered that Sister Umm Travis’s Complainers Challenge still stood, so I was adamant I was not going to complain. I thought about talking to Little Lady’s teacher in the morning, making my excuses and getting a new appointment. I reminded myself I had to apply for an interesting job the next day (the deadline). I also thought about the absolutely perfect job I had found to apply for which involved working with the Muslim community, managing a Preventing Violent Extremism Project, local and with great money of course. I have no chance as I don’t meet half of the criteria, but I could apply and pray couldn’t I?

I had just started to feel better, when I noticed some papers left on my bedside table. One was Little Lady’s homework for the half-term holiday, the other bit of paper was a letter apologising that the Parents Consultation Evening had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. I just stared. Someone had seen that I needed a bit of kindness. So I feel much less of a louse at the moment and I know Allah (SWT) is kind and loves me.


  1. awwww sis, dont be so hard on yourself. we try our best humdullah, and thats all that matters... sometimes a breakdown or two, but this only shows our humanity. dont try to be superwoman. just be you. thats pretty super in my opinion :)

  2. you poor sister! You are really juggling alot there. I thought I was tired and had too much on my plate, but you deserve the award.
    May Alah make it easy for you and bless you with whatever you do.Amin
    hugs )))

  3. Assalam-alaikam Sister Umm Travis,
    Just being me is hard work at the moment, I don't do more than all the other mothers out there, my brain just stays in over-drive mode - this is why salaah is truly my saviour as it calms me down. Jazakh'Allah-khairun for your words.

    Assalam-alaikam Sister Muslimah,
    Jazakh'Allah-khairun for your dua's and kind words.