Tuesday 1 July 2008

Dazed and Disorientated Mama

Had an exhausting weekend. Have been tired and stressed from not knowing if we'll go Pakistan, from all the kids being under the weather, from running out of money, from lack of sleep, from the house being in a state of transit and from too much to do at work. I really need all the dua's I can get. It's only a few more days to go though; then it will be all over and done with either way.
The baby was sick yesterday, starting having convulsions so had to call an ambulance.

Alhamdulillah, after a long evening in emergency, he's okay now, just has a bit of a temperature. It very much put things in perspective though. When you see your child so ill and have no idea what to do, holidays, weddings, travel etc all seem entirely unimportant. By the time I got him home from the hospital, I just didn’t care anymore about anything except gathering my children near me and making sure they were okay.

Its funny how you react, I was surprised at how calm I was on the phone whilst inwardly I was a blithering knot of terror. I sat there thinking afterwards what a terribly cruel thing motherhood can be. To have your heart, your peace of mind, even your sanity live in another being’s body. To never again in your life feel absolute peace and the kind of thoughtless easiness you have in your youth.

Alhamdulillah there is a price for everything and a test in many things. I pray that Allah gives us the strength to be as he would like us to be insh’Allah.


  1. I'm glad your little one is better. You and your family will be in my dua.

    ma'a salaamah,


  2. Aslamu alakum sister
    how frightening for you sister, i pray you lil one has a good recovery and Allah grant him shifa ameen. I do hope things will go smoothly for you and you are able to unwind and relax as i feel you certainly need it. Allah Al Must'aan. hugs sister.

  3. Assalam-alaikam Sisters,
    thank you for your kind words. Alhamdulillah, things are getting much better insh'Allah.

  4. Subhanallah sister. I had no idea you were under so much stress (ive not had much spare time these days).

    I hope inshallah the baby is is recovering. You must have been horrified. Seeing him so sick must have taken everything out of you.

    I am happy to hear you are in Pakistan! What a wonderful trip it must be, to be surrounded by so much love and excitement! I hope you have lots to write about when you return inshaallah.

    You and your family are in my duas, to remain in the best health, for a safe return and of course, for stellar iman!

    Assalamu alaykum,