I have found myself with writers block recently, something that doesn’t bother me recently. After a month or two of not writing very much I am starting to realise that there might be a reason for the writers block.
On one hand, one of the reason’s I started blogging was that I needed a creative outlet because the job I was doing three years ago was extremely tedious and not keeping me very busy. After three years in my current job, dealing with a handful of very difficult people and being lumbered with work other people did not want to do, I have been given the opportunity to do something really exciting and which appeals to my strengths – i.e. putting messy things in order. My new job has given me the chance to develop project management skills and is much more high-profile than anything I have worked on before, last week I got to visit the Olympic Stadium, this week I am working to pilot a project reporting system for the Chief Executive. This means I am way busier than I have been in a long time and can be a bit brain dead by the time I get home.
As the kids get older I am trying to be present and attentive to them and as they grow older I find that they are becoming more demanding and need more support and guidance. The youngest in particular is a handful – not sitting still for a minute, playing football in the house, wrestling with his brother, making animal noises, jumping up and down and shouting when he gets annoyed, refusing to stay in bed, wandering off during dinner, continuously pulling faces and generally acting like a very crazy four-year-old. Hubby recently gently reminded me that the kids need to be our priority and we need to be more conscious about their diet and habits – I am easily distracted and very much a day-dreamer, so his reminder was needed ad appreciated and I have been spending lots of time in the kitchen trying to be more conscious about what we all eat (plus he keeps volunteering me for meals for the masjid, so that is keeping me in the kitchen too).
Apart from general busy-ness Alhamdulillah and trying to be more conscious about how I spend my time (i.e. limiting my time on the internet to an hour and making time for my mum-in-law who is stuck at home with the kids all day), there is another reason I haven’t felt inclined to write for some time. I tend to write from the heart – whatever I am thinking and feeling. I have found myself recently trying to write about what I thought I SHOULD write about and not what I WANTED or needed to write about. This meant I lost the inclination to write and blog almost completely . Once I realised that, the enthusiasm to get the word down onto paper (or screen) started to flow back. Hopefully this will mean I will make time to blog more often that I have been recently.
P.S. Thank you to all of the kind Sisters who have encouraged me to blog and write, your words have made a real difference to me.