Saturday 6 March 2010

Dealing with Resistance

Something that sometimes stresses me out a little is the long to-do lists I manage to rack up for myself. What doesn’t help is when these things go round and round in my head getting me into a flap. What also doesn’t help is writing them down in my diary and then ignoring them.

Every now and again though, I just get fed up and decide to single-mindedly and ruthlessly work through the whole list. Today is one of those days. I got up at fajr (dawn prayer) and decided to stay up. This is one of the things which usually leads to the most productive days for me. If I get things done early in the day, I can enjoy the rest of the day and it just seems conducive to getting even more done as the day goes by.

The last few days have found me fretting and then trying to sit down and get some things done, instead I have been wasting time with surfing random internet sites, watching TV at my mum’s and daydreaming (okay so maybe the last one I don’t really consider such a waste of time, it gets me through the day anyway). I knew what needed to be done, but just kept avoiding doing it.

So this morning, whilst everyone was still asleep, I finished a banner I had been working on (and enjoyed doing it), wrote out a card, packed baby clothes for my sister-in-laws new baby (another one! I swear there are pregnant women and newborn babies everywhere I look mash’Allah) and got my things ready for the day.

Funnily enough, the resistance to getting things done has been everywhere – I haven’t been writing much, I haven’t been blogging despite all the encouragement from kind sisters, I haven’t been creating much in terms of cards or jewellery, I haven’t even read that much which is quite shocking to me. Perhaps it’s a case of changing focus, I have been VERY busy with my brothers wedding this month, mum’s hand is still not fully healed so she still can’t do lots of things and work has been challenging and very quiet in turns. I have also found myself doing lots of journaling and looking inwards and questioning what I want to do with my life. I have spent the entire decade of my 20’s procrastinating on this and as I turn 30 seem to have found some answers - I just need the courage to go for them. I have also been trying hard to focus better on my children – to learn to stop everything else when they need my attention, which doesn’t come naturally to me and has been a steep learning curve for me.

So my encouragement for today to my sisters is that whatever you are avoiding – just get it done. Don’t think about it – don’t give yourself the chance to procrastinate and let it get complicated or allow yourself to delay it for another day and then spend time being anxious about it. Take a deep breath and plunge in, start ticking that list off one by one. Before you know it, it’s done and you still have most of the day to do the thing you love insh’Allah.

Now I am off to post those packages, pick up two more (I have no idea what I ordered), find Little Lady a bridesmaids dress (which I an determined to find on discount), find gift bags and packaging for gifts to take the bride (that reminds me – have to get baskets!!, get my shopping done and get back in time for lunch. Then it’s off to Green Street to pick up my wedding outfit which needed alterations (I asked for a loose-fit abaya and got a ball gown with a plunging neckline!). Then I meet with my boy cousins at my mum’s house to see they have bought to wear for the wedding (so lots of laughing and joking as my little brothers are very close to me). So hopefully intend to get lots done insh’Allah and then make time in between to treat the kids, read, create and play with my new toy – more news of which soon.

Always make dua for yourself to get things done and get them done effectively. Last week I made dua in the morning that I don’t overspend on my clothes for my wedding, when I got to the shop, Mum and Long-Suffering Sister (I must change that title) paid for the dress as a gift.

I and Little Lady recently listened to a wonderful lecture by Muhammad AlShareef which I would definitely encourage people to make time for if they find themselves struggling to try and make time for everything they want to do.


  1. Jazakillahu khayran for this post! I really needed it! I have LOADS of things I need to get done, LOADS of ideas stewing in my head! I even need to go and get a new notebook for scribbling them down in! :D

  2. Assalamu alaikum dear sis,

    Thanks a lot for such a wonderful, timely post. Reading this post reminds me of my long lists of things I want to do Insha-Allah. As I also just turned 30, I feel quite bad that still not that much I have completed :-( but as you said sis, I must stop procrastinate and start doing something. May Allah swt make us better and proactive muslimahs, Insha-Allah. Looking forward to read more of your beautiful posts sis! Jazakallah !

  3. Jazakillah for the reminder and advice. I really need to get on with my dissertation and this post is just what I needed, a source of inspiration and encouragement. Thank you :)

  4. Wonderful post, and I'm so happy I've found your blog!

    I also suffer from distractions and anxiety when my to-do list gets too long!

    In fact, I haven't crossed many tasks off today because of avoidance. I'm going to take your advice and jump right in....