Wednesday 25 February 2009

Avoiding that Melt-down.

I have written before about the need for mums to unwind and some ways that might help in trying to do this. This last week at work has been manic and although things have calmed down I have struggled to ensure I do not carry the stress home. Sometimes it has been very small things that have helped me immensely. In fact this has reiterated for me the pleasure to be found in the small things that already exist in your life. By serendipity I came across the following quote which I thought had some grains of truth in it:

Whatever it is you want, however you want to have it, no matter why you want to have it, you can have it faster if you can first be happy without it.

Some of the things that have helped me this week have been:

Getting down with the kids – on one of the busiest, most tiring days, I allowed the kids to play for half an hour before bed, they grabbed their box of pencils and crayons and clambered onto my bed. I find Little Man’s enthusiasm for everything infectious, and I couldn’t help joining in. It was fun. Here is the picture we coloured together:

Hanging out with mum – her sofa is definitely a place of peace for me, especially seeing as the kids disappear to harass my sisters and I don’t see them again until I go home. In fact when they realise I might be calling them to get ready to go home, I don’t see them at all. This week, I haggled one afternoon off work and spent it at my mum’s eating her scrummy comfort food (chicken and dry bell pepper and gourd curry with soft little chapatti’s). We watched old black and white Pakistani movies together and I vegetated happily.

Ice-cream in bed – What more to say? I put the kids in bed with a warning not to move. Put the baby down with his back to me (not sharing my Feast with anyone) and read my book (The Cairo Diary by Maxim Chattam) and had a lovely Feast chocolate ice-cream and felt very pleased.

Found something nice to wear to work – my black abaya with beige shayla and beige heels and a nice broach Long-Suffering Sister bought me. The bracelet didn’t quite match but it’s shiny and shiny things make me smile. It was also one of my favourite bargains of last year at 25p from one of the boot fairs.

Finding the kitchen again – I had a Fanny Craddock moment this week, when I wondered into the long-forgotten domain called the kitchen and decided I needed to re-discover the joy of good cooking. Everything I touched has turned out revolting for the last two weeks or so until I broke the run yesterday with dry spicy boneless chicken with green peppers which I enjoyed making. I plan to try something different or new every day and take my sweet time making it . Today's is aubergine, gurd and green peppers with potatoes (I learnt veg need less chilli and salt, especially after this nearly burnt my mouth out).


  1. My sister whose living alone with her husband and 2 kids in London is currently experiencing a meltdown. She's having a great deal of difficulty weaning her second kid. I guess the-looking- after 2 kids had got to her. Umm S, do you know of any way of making a baby niece seems to have lost of weight because she spits out everything. Hope someone can help.

  2. Assalam-alaikam Sis TU,
    The pace of life in London can be ridiculous, and you need family around you, if she is alone I can imagine it is not easy for her.

    One of my very good friends had the same problem with her eldest. She took him to the doctor who said that "no child has ever managed to starve himself to death so stop worrying" which wasn't very helpful, but he had a point.

    If she is losing weight, defo get the doctor to take a look, but I think it's common, especially if you are trying to wean off breast-feeding which kids find pleasurable and very comforting and miss.

    She just needs to be persistent with her little one, to keep trying with new foods every little while, bits of mashed fruit or soft potato or baby-food, eventually she will wear the child's resistance down. With kids patience is everything.

    She should also take the baby to her health advisor at the baby clinic who will help (plus it will help her to get out and meet other mum's in the same situation). I hope Allah makes things easier for her insh'Allah.

  3. Thanks a lot Umm S, May Allah reward you! I told her to consult a health advisor. My sis seems to have stopped giving my niece milk so that she'll feel hungry enough to eat solids. But she just lost weight. I told her what you said. Please make dua for her. Thanks again. :-)

  4. This is fantastic sis! It's so important to learn ways to cope. All those interested in finding out more to deal with their own melt down please google MBTI.