Friday 16 November 2012

A Small Exodus and Establishing New Routines

Subhan’Allah, I have had a very busy week and I am just starting to fall into a routine with the baby, who turned one month yesterday (already?!) and the older children.  This means that this has been the first chance for me to sit down and write (albeit with a tray of dishes to take into the kitchen next to me, piles of laundry everywhere I look and the boys wrestling downstairs).

We have spent this week visiting friends and family returning from the hajj pilgrimage and collecting lots of yummy dates and zam zam water from everyone.  Some of the haji’s have then come to visit us to see the baby, there are also visitors still coming to see the baby for the first time.

My mother-in-law returned to Pakistan yesterday after staying with us for the last few months, leading to another stream of visitors.  It was a great help having her here, especially when I was so incapacitated at the end of my pregnancy and she took over cooking.  At the same time, being pregnant and so uncomfortable made me irritable and we managed to wind each other a few times (thankfully we parted on good terms with her intending to come back next summer).

Hubby also left today to spend two months in South Africa (lucky soul!) to visit his sheikh and to engage in dawah work insh’Allah, starting out in Cape Town.  We have been discussing this for a long time and we felt that my maternity leave would be the perfect opportunity for him to go.  I feel that I can manage the four children by myself and I am not fearful of being alone, despite missing him like crazy already.  At the same time, my family are less than five minutes walk away, so I will be spending afternoons with my mum and evenings with my sisters if I need company.  In the past we have had lots of criticism for the short periods of time he has been away, this time round people have pretty much given up having realised that I can cope alone, give hubby my full support and agree with his work and that neither of us listen to people’s opinions much anyway.

At the same, I am happy that this means I will be able to focus on my kids 100% as there are a few things which I need to work on with them – namely Little Lady’s spikiness and messiness, Gorgeous throwing tantrums and various bad habits they have developed (bedtime stretching out way too long, clothes and school equipment getting strewn everywhere).  There is also the constant and endless fighting, whinging and telling tales, but I suspect that this is just normal and that there isn’t really much of a cure for this except time.  I also want to lay down some routines in terms of homework and lessons at home, Islamic studies, tuition and some sports clubs insh’Allah (will mean less time left for fighting with each other at least).

I am hoping to use the next two months as productively as I can insh’Allah, allowing for a small baby and rowdy kids who have been getting away with all sorts for the last few months due to a mum who just could not waddle fast enough to keep up.  Alhamdulillah I feel very much as if Allah (SWT) has given me a chance to concentrate on my children and use this opportunity to work towards raising my children in the best way that I can.  I have been praying that I can raise them with good manners and good charachter, incorporating the sunnan (tradition) of our beloved Prophet (PBUH) into their lives and a love for their faith insh’Allah.


  1. Assalamualikum, love ur posts mashallah.. I am a mother of 3 kids living in Jeddah and i enjoy reading ur blog(when i get time!! my kids r 5,2 and 9 months so u can imagine)... its great thts its faith centered struggles of a women which is seldom found.. I find myself sometimes in ur writings... keep up d good work... salamualikum

    1. Assaalam-alaikam Sister Urooj,
      Thank you for stopping by and for taking the time to comment.

  2. Asa

    If u dont mind me asking, who is your husband's Shaykh in South Africa? Im from here as well.

    Baby is probably big by now Mashaa ALLAH


  3. Walaikam-assalam Dear Sister,
    of course I don't mind you asking. My husbands sheikh is based at the darul-aloom at Azadville and runs the Academy for the Revival of the Sunnah (I think it is called), I tried getting the name from him, but he just couldn't remember the exact name.

    Baby is just over a year now and very cheeky, jk for asking xxx