I spent the morning working and came home at midday to find the kids rowdy and excitable at having mum home earlier than expected. I have been struggling with the kids recently. As I am unable to chase them as much, they have been taking liberties a little. I think I have been a lot less patient also recently, so their normal noise and mess irritates me more quickly.
Last year Ramadan fell during school holidays and it meant that I could do very little with the children. Cooped up all day they were bored and spent the day annoying their grandmother who is at home with them. I decided to take steps this time round and try and get organised so that they have sensible things to keep them occupied until I come home.
I have been looking for summer activities for the children, but am struggling to find anything within walking distance as I do not drive and mum-in-law cannot walk far. Most things locally are also very expensive. Football coaching for three kids would come to approximately £135 a week, so I am trying to find less expensive activities. One thing I did was organise their books and toys so that they could get better use out of them during the holidays. They now have a tray each of their activity books and I have told them I want to see at least two pages of activities a day when I come back from work and a good report from their grandmother, rather than the usual reports of endless fighting and a trail of destruction around the house.
I also moved all of the reading books out of their room except for their Islamic books, which Little Lady has been reading to them at bedtime. She has been a star and has been helping me with keeping the boys occupied, herding them upstairs before iftar (fast breaking time) and reading to them to keep them quiet.
Fashionista has also been great. As she is a teacher, she is on holiday from school now and has offered to whip them into shape. I am mindful though that she is also fasting and it is her last Ramadan at home, so I don’t want to take advantage too much.
I am still super uncomfortable with a sore back and joints that seem to be rebelling and trying to do their own thing. By night time I am so exhausted and bloated I can hardly move and feel like I have a sack of bricks hanging from my ribs. This is so frustrating and upsetting, but I keep telling myself that nothing good comes for free and this baby is a blessing beyond measure and more than I deserve alhamdulillah.
“Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.” Al- Quran (at-Talaaq, 65:7)
“Surely with every difficulty there is relief. Surely with every difficulty there is relief.” Al- Quran (Shrah, 94:5-6)
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “How amazing is the case of the believer; there is good for him in everything, and this is only so for the believer. If he experiences something pleasant, he is thankful, and that is good for him; and if he comes across adversity, he is patient, and that is good for him.” (Muslim)
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Whatever befalls a Muslim of exhaustion, illness, worry, grief, nuisance or trouble, even though it may be no more than a prick of a thorn, earns him forgiveness by Allah of some of his sins.” (Sahīh al-Bukhārī)
Subhan’Allah, our faith is such that even the hardest times can be a blessing.
The prompt for day two of the Journal Your Ramadan challenge was “forgiveness”, which seemed rather apt for me right now. I have been struggling with my temper in the last few weeks. More than once it has exploded in the most frightening way, terrifying both me and anyone near me. Each time it has left me numb and somewhat ashamed. My best friend has been a star and keeps reminding me that it is a matter of pregnancy hormones and time and all will be well after the baby is born. I worry though, that I am at risk of causing so much damage to the relationships I have with family and friends nearest to me, so I make dua that I don’t hurt anyone and that I can leave the room when I feel the heat rising.
Am off to have one more midnight plate of fruit chaat (fruit salad with spice) before bed, can’t seem to stop eating the stuff.