Tuesday 6 March 2012

Enjoying Motherhood

I called a friend a few days ago to catch up on a few things and found her super busy with her three little ones, all under the age of five. It kind of stopped me in my tracks. I remember when I had three under five and it seems like such a long time ago. A few of my friends have small children and a few have two or three very small children. It can be hard work – long sleepless nights, endless nappies, dragging that big baby bag everywhere, trying to navigate public transport and shops with a big buggy, having to plan ahead just to try and get a moment to go to the loo. But now that I look back, it seems it was over so quickly.

I reassured my friend. I remember when I had my youngest I had a good dose of the baby blues and did not want to get up or do anything, let alone be a mum. I remember yearning for a whole night of sleep and finding all of the things I was supposed to do – reading with the kids, playing with them, taking them to the park, so tedious. I would never have admitted it then for fear of being judged, but actually, looking after small kids can be tedious. The beautiful, unforgettable moments with your little ones – the first words, the funny little things they do, those moments when you r heart brims over from love, these things make being a mum pleasurable and help temper the tedium, but the boring moments are still there.

Thing is, it’s all over so quickly. My youngest is five, all three are at school full time, they can eat themselves, dress themselves (although Gorgeous still tries to abdicate responsibility for these two – always the baby). They can go off unsupervised for some time to play outside or in their room. But that’s not what made the biggest difference to me. Kid just get so much more interesting as they get older. They have a life – at school, with friends, at madrassah, in their bedrooms, even in their heads. They have thoughts and opinions. They can tell you about their day (with much prompting) and are interested in yours (mostly to say how unfair it is you don’t have to go to school).

I realised recently, how much I enjoyed parenting, which was not always the case before. I realised how I am falling in love with my kids in all sorts of new ways. I love that their own personalities and strengths are coming through – Little Lady’s bossiness, creativity and dodgy jokes , Little Man’s kindness and studiousness and Gorgeous’ charm, playfulness and sportiness. I never would have guessed parenting would be so much more fun.

So to my sisters who are just getting through the day, one day at a time, I have to say, these days when your children are so small will be over so quickly. Spend them to hold your babies, hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them till they have no doubts. Let the house get messy, leave your hair wild, soon they will be leaving you every morning and you will have all the time in the world to straighten cushions and look perfect. Also this – that parenting gets even better, lots easier and so much more fun. I never expected this at all, but I am so enjoying this time with my kids. Perhaps I am speaking too soon, maybe they will hit the teen years and turn into indecipherable, irrational monsters, in which case I had better make the most of this time insh’Allah.

10 comments:

  1. Aaah thats so sweet, your children sound like so much fun.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Assalamu alaikum my dear sis, your post has brought tears in my eyes. I really needed the call from you the other day! Jazakallah khairan sis! Insha-Allah I am looking forward to the time when they will be a bit more independent. But for now, I will try my best to enjoy every moment of it INSHA-ALLAH!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! I have a one year old (after a five year gap) and I can't wait for her to catch up to her brother and "become more human!" It is lovely to see her grow up and I can honestly say I love her more now than when she was born!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sister, thanks for sharing. I'm following your blog and feel that we are close thou we are miles apart. Your writing is inspirational and i truly enjoy reading your blog. And thanks for the reminder, every day i promise to be a good mom to my lil calips but s/times i lost my temper. need to be more patience..may Allah bless u all

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very true sister. Kids grow very fast even before we relaize it. We should love them as much as we can.

    Please stop by in my blog about my daughter www.proncessliya.com and Islamic blog www.feelislam.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jazakillah khayr my sister for this beautiful & 'real' piece of writing on motherhood. For those of us who have been blessed with a baby, your writing inspires us to have more! :) Motherhood is our best gift, role, identity, lifetime career & enjoyment. May Allah help and bless us all, mums and dads, in this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jazakillah khayr my sister for this beautiful & 'real' piece of writing on motherhood. For those of us who have been blessed with a baby, your writing inspires us to have more! :) Motherhood is our best gift, role, identity, lifetime career & enjoyment. May Allah help and bless us all, mums and dads, in this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jazakillah Khayr my sister for this beautiful and real piece of writing on motherhood. For those of us who have been blessed with a baby, it inspires to have more! :) Motherhood is our best gift, role, identity, test, lifetime career & enjoyment. May Allah help and bless us all, mums and dads, in this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jazakillah khayr my sister for this beautiful and real writing on motherhood. MashaAllah, I enjoyed your blog this morning. For those of us who are blessed with a baby, it inspires us to have more! :) motherhood is truly our best gift, role, identity, test, lifetime career & enjoyment. May Allah help us and bless us, mums and dads, in this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Samar Hasan27 March, 2012

    Asa,
    what a lovely, genuine post ! :)
    i love it!
    May Allah make it easier for all the mothers out there inshaAllah, and make our children righteous and a great source of sadaq e jariyah for us inshaAllah!
    P.S. i wish you had a tweet option, would've done so.

    ReplyDelete