Saturday 26 December 2009

Kids Come First Insh'Allah

Have had a good few days after a rather nightmarish week. Weather and horrendous traffic have meant that I have been getting home from work two, three sometime four hours later than I usually do, meaning I am tired, we eat and everyone goes to bed. Because the kids have been on holidays, we have used up most of the good will we have earned over the years with family helping out with childcare. The long hours have just compounded matters. I was speaking with a colleague at work in the same position and we agreed that you get to a point that you have no dignity and self-respect left, you are at everyone’s whim and subject to their moods and at the same time you feel like a failure of a mother.

Things came to a head when we left the kids with the (live-in) brother-in-law for the day and came home to find them watching cartoons on the computer. Not a big deal in itself, but when I questioned them more closely, I found they had eaten nothing but biscuits and yoghurt during the day and had been sitting there watching cartoons since that morning. The place where the computer is, if you sit there too long, you get real cold and I could see little lady shaking. I made her get into my bed while I made them dinner and although she fell asleep, she still managed to catch a nasty cold.

I could not believe it!!! Brother-in-law was out of the house as soon as I came in. I held my tongue, same as I always do to keep the peace, although I cried to my husband. Fashionista insists I should have beaten him black and blue and then thrown him out on his backside. Maybe she is right. But every time I get angry at something like this, I expect the person to turn round and say, well they are your kids, why aren’t YOU minding them. I said this to her, but she still insisted I should have battered them.

So I have been counting down the seconds to the Christmas break from work. I have ELEVEN whole, blessed, beloved, days off from work to spend with my children. I took them to the library, we rode on the bus, we bought books from WH Smiths together, we shared warm donuts, they got to sit on the ride they have in malls to rip parents off.

When I go back I want to talk to my manager about the possibilities of working less hours or working some days from home, I have no idea what the response will be, but worth a try. I really despaired the day I came home and found my kids hungry and cold, I was at my wits end, feeling as if I had nowhere to turn and no options left. I know though, that there is always a way. There is always a different way of doing things and a solution somewhere if you think and pray enough. Our set-up has been far from conventional until now anyway and has invited both criticism and admiration from others, but it has worked for us. We just need to work together again to find a way that our kids can be safe, cared for and get enough of their mum and dad insh’Allah.

1 comment:

  1. Salam alaikum dear sis, I can understand how you are feeling at the moment. Insha-Allah Allah swt will make it easy for you and your family. Keep doing the dua for making things easy: Allahumma la sahla illa ma'ja'altahu sahlan wa anta taj'alul hajna idha shi'ta sahla.... O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy and You make the dificult easy if its Your Will. Its a dua from the sunnah of our beloved Rasulullah saw. Wish you all the best sis :-)