Tuesday 16 December 2014

The Chronicles of Gorgeous

I got a phone call from my middle child’s school this week asking me to come in.  I asked what it was about and they said not to worry.  For a brief moment I did entertain delusions about being called in for a good reason, such as he being recognised as some kind of child genius,  but couldn’t convince myself (they would have sent a letter or waited until parents evening if that was the case).

So I went in to school and met another mother that had been called in.  We were greeted by the year group leader who sat us don and explained that our sons along with one other boy had managed to take a toilet door off its hinges (that’s the last thing I expected to hear).  As Gorgeous had never done anything like this before, they were not going to take any action.  Instead but they suggested we speak to our sons about thinking through their actions and the consequences of what they do.

I picked up Gorgeous after the meeting and he was adamant that it was not his fault.  Knowing how many things he has broken at home, I was inclined not to believe him at first.  He explained that the other boy whose mum had come in was very good and had just gone to the toilet.  A third boy, whose mum didn’t come in, got into the toilet too and started swinging on the door.  Apparently he does this every day.  When the first boy tried to get out, the second boy pulled the door and slammed it into his head.

Gorgeous was trying to get into the same loo because he was desperate to go to the toilet and the other toilets were dirty (of course the absolute messiest of my children would be the one who slightly OCD about germs).  He was also trying to help the boy that was crying.  So while the other two boys were pushing the door shut, he was trying to pull it open.  When the door fell off of its hinges, the other boys ran off and he went to call the teacher.

So as always and in every single matter ever relating to him, it was not his fault, but someone else’s.  If fact he was trying to help the boy that was crying (I asked him if he thought he was some sort of superhero now).  If anything he was aggrieved that the door nearly fell on him and he had to move out of the way.

The boy can’t lie with a straight face at all; in fact I always used to catch the other kids out when someone did something naughty because I would know if he did it or not (meaning it was usually Little man by default).  So I knew he was telling the truth. 

I told him he should still not have been pulling the door or try and open it.  I also told him if I ever heard about him being inside the toilet cubicle with another boy I would take a slipper to him (the first thing that the teacher mentioned when she spoke to us had been that two boys had been caught in a cubicle together and this freaked me out at the time).  He looked at me as if I was crazy – “no way mum!!”)

Anyway, I’ve explained to him he shouldn’t be pulling toilet doors, but I don’t expect this to be the last silly thing he does.  The thing is, despite causing the most chaos of all my children, he never elicits any anger from me.  Must be those big sad eyes.

image source (This still seems to apply to Gorgeous)


  1. In the article that brought me to your blog you said you were trying a form of parenting that didn't involve physical punishment and involved being open minded.

    But here you tell your son that you'll hit him if he's in a stall with another boy.

    I know Gorgeous is still a child, and I'm VERY likely being paranoid, but it sounds like you WOULD hit your child if it was possible he was homosexual?

    Could I just have some context to that paragraph please, I just want to see how your parenting plan fits into making those kinds of ultimatums

  2. Interesting comments Calum- you raise some valid points.

    1. Hi, I think Calum's comment deserved a fuller response so have written further on the matter here: http://www.happymuslimah.com/2015/01/motherhood-and-anxieties-comment-on.html