Saturday, 7 July 2012

Catching Some Early Morning Sun

We have had a lot of rain the last few days, so the garden has mostly been left to its own devices recently.
This morning I work early in hope of a productive day and felt like sitting out in the sun for a while.

All of the rain has meant that the vegetable plants are coming along.  These are the dwarf bean plants which are plentiful this year.


















Some of the flower pots are full of colour too.  The view from mum-in-laws window into the garden is rather nice.


















Most of the plants are still fairly young, but this one we bought when the chilli's were already starting to appear.  It looks pretty amazing now, might have to pick these soon as they have turned from green to bright red.

















The gourd plant below is coming along well, but again we planted late.  By this time last year we were already cooking the veg that these plants were producing.  The tomato plants and the rest of the peppers are also still to flower.


This one was a surprise yesterday.  This white lily plant has been growing for months from a bulb I think I might have planted last year.  Rather lovely.  There's another plant next to it which has grown over a metre, not sure what it is, so will have to wait and see.



Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Exciting Times

As part of a new project I am working on, I had to travel around East London this morning.  I came upon this interesting little courtyard, which is part of a listed building.









This courtyard will serve as the venue for the 2012 Global Feast to coincide with the Olympics which will feature the worlds tallest table by artist Alex Haw.

I also passed the Shoal in Stratford.  The pink leaf-like object in the picture above is an example of one of the scales used to create the installation below.  I remember seeing the artists impression of this a few years ago and it never fails to surprise me how photo's of the Shoal look like artists impressions.




I was back at work half way through thee morning and totally knackered.  Looks like there's going to be lots more gallivanting in the next few weeks.

Picture of the Day: Tafsir Ibn Kathir

I come down early one morning recently and found a box decorated with animals in the front room.  I though it was rather a nice box and might be useful to store some of the kids stuff in.  Hubby had come home late from doing a house work and left it there.

I took a peek inside the box and found a full set of 10 volumes of Tafsir Ibn Kathir in immaculate condition.  I have been after a set of these for the last few years, but never got round to spending the £120 or so it costs.  Aren't I glad I didn't now!

Hubby confirmed that he did a house move the night before and had been given the books.  I was over the moon.  I told him he should have hidden them and given them to me on Eid, I would have been happy all year.  His face dropped when he realised the missed opportunity!

I really do like this man's job.





Sunday, 1 July 2012

Baby Shower

I got pestered by mum-in-law and hubby to go to the park with them yesterday, I wondered what they were up to.  On getting back home, I walked in to find my sisters and friends, lots of yellow and lots of food.

I suspected the girls were up to something, but I was seriously surprised to see my dearest friends there.  It may have taken six pregnancies and my fourth baby insh'Allah - but I was finally going to get a BABY SHOWER!!!






More food and a gorgeous bouquet from my lovely mum who had been in on the surprise as had Little Lady (those two are ever so tight and always in cahoots).


The wonderful cake was  from Fashionista who seems to be on permanent cake duty for the whole family - I can't tell you how good this was - fluffy sponge and the lightest cream on top.





I looked like a bit of  frump in a loose baggy outfit, so I ran upstairs as soon as I had finished hugging all of my friends and changed into the pretty blue dress Mum-in-law bought back from Pakistan which I had been saving for Eid.  Just as well, because it just fit, no chance of getting into it for Eid.




Little Lady of course, who is a mini Fashionista in the making, was ready with party dress and her lovely new button necklace.



The girls, particularly Kooks had made so much effort with a handmade banner, yellow lanterns, yellow handmade crepe chains festooned on walls and mini labelled gift bags.





Apparently there were more balloons with messages and ones shaped like a baby, all filled with helium, but someone managed to let go of them on the way to my house!

There was also lots of food, mum made chicken tikka and cut plates of fruit (mango and strawberry), Fashionista made yummy chicken sandwiches, one friend brought seekh kebabs and another made mini mince pasties. My sisters also ordered pizza, fried chicken and wedges.  Another friend made the lovely pavlova below.  People also brought cakes and baklava.







The girls had organised some lovely gifts.  I loved the boxes they came in.









Yellow pineapple cubes.










I have just started to get my concentration back enough to read (having an iPhone doesn't help as you end up browsing rubbish instead of reading), so the books were very welcome, I cannot wait to read Cloud Atlas.

The white baby layette was from a friend who I hadn't seen in a very long time and had been missing dearly - it will go into my hospital bag.  The scented soap was a lovely treat.  I may save the incense set for my room starts to smell like nappies!  The patterned scarf I will be wearing to work on Monday of course.




One of my managers from years ago, and now good friend, found out about the pregnancy yesterday and dropped by with this amazing nappy cake.  She must have made it overnight.  I was so touched by the effort she had made.  Everyone else was just amazed this cake wasn't a real edible cake.




My sisters bought me this beautiful dress.  It totally rocks and is now my Eid dress (I just hope it fits then at the pace I am growing).








The pattern on the side panels remind of something from a Van Gogh painting.





I had so much fun catching up with friends, eating good food, playing the baby shower Games my sister-in-law organised (guess the celebrity baby, baby items A-Z and finish the nursery rhyme).  At one point Little Lady made me these two cards.  I asked her afterwards if she felt I wasn't paying attention and she said she had.  I apologised.




Alhamdulillah I felt so loved,  as one friend pointed out, you are so lucky to have so many friends and family who care about you.  A special thank you was in order for Kooks whose idea it was and who did the organising  - the effort and food was lovely, but it was the fact that she managed to get together all of the friends that I loved the most which made me feel so happy, loved and yet entirely unworthy of all of the fusss and effort.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Something Suspicious

Cousin: "What's this party you're having?"
Me: "What party?"
Cousin: "The one your sister mailed me about"
Me: "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about"

Me: "Kooks what is Cousin A saying about a party?"
Kooks (not very convincingly): "I dunno"

Friend on phone: "I'm coming over for the party"
Me (somewhat bewildered): "What party?"
Friend: "The one at your house"
Me:"I'm sitting on my bed, looking like a tramp, eating chips! What party!"
Friend: "Oh okay, no worries"

Me: "What party was my friend K talking about?"
Kooks (not very convincingly): "I dunno"

Hubby: "Lets go to the park"
Me: "I'm cleaning and it's too hot outside"
Hubby "Come on"
Me: "I've just put bleach all over the bathroom"
Mum-in-law: "Leave it, let's go"
Me: "Fine!! But the bathroom will have melted by the time we get back!"

I'm glad we went, there was a lovely fresh breeze and it was great fun watching Gorgeous follow a pretty girl around the playground. Hubby was on the phone though I think to one of my sisters.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Picture of the Day: Henna Trial

I accompanied Fashionista for a henna trial for her wedding. We went to a henna artist who had been reccommended by a few people. Fashionista really liked her portfolio and also her happy bubbly personality so booked her for her henna ceremony and the wedding. Fashionista picked a design she liked (very different to the one below). We also managed to sort a package out for the rest of the family and guests, so thats one more thing sorted!




Monday, 25 June 2012

Dousing the Rage with Order

Despite being determined to be kinder to myself during this pregnancy, I am absolutely shattered today. I am finding that it is one thing to know what is best for yourself, quite another to put it into practice. After a wonderful but full-on wedding and a day of bulk cooking, cleaning and visiting I found getting up for work early the hardest I ever have.

I think I am going to have to take this rest thing a lot more seriously. It doesn’t help I had a very unsettling day yesterday. I work up with a feeling of lethargy and sluggishness which reminded me of the baby blues I had after Gorgeous was born. It scared me a little, that dark place is somewhere I never want to go again. I sat quietly for a while then forced myself to get up and get moving. Action is usually the one thing that overcomes lethargy, indecision and anxiety for me more quickly than anything else. I tried getting breakfast ready and helping the kids getting homework out of the way, but all this did was make me more and more angry.

Have I ever mentioned I used to have the most horrendous problem with anger? Throwing things, hitting people (I hope my sisters are not reading this!), shouting and suddenly blowing my top without warning. Controlling this is something I have worked very hard on because I didn’t feel that my lovely, kind husband and my innocent children should ever have to bear that kind of behaviour. I prayed and prayed for this and over the years was amazed at how much I had changed from the person I use to be. I have read the following a while ago:

"Love brings up everything unlike itself. Fear is detoxed, subconsciously brought to the fore whenever love arrives. Once aroused, it will either trigger us or depart from us, depending on whether it is forgiven or punished." ~ Marianne Williamson ~

I believe that my husband’s love, patience and kindness helped to work through much of my anger.

But yesterday I could feel the rage come back in full force. I shouted at the kids a few times and lobbed a few things down the stairs before I realised this was getting stupid and the kids hadn’t really done anything. I decided to step away before I hurt someone. I asked mum-in-law to take over with lunch and fled to my room where I spent the next half hour taking my bedroom apart, getting the kids to take all of boxes of beads downstairs, covering up my card making supplies with a big black shayla and emptying out draws. There was only so much I could do before lunch and I ended up with lots of piles of stuff around my room, but getting started felt good.

I realise now that I have felt this anger surfacing a few times over the last few weeks. I am not sure if it is hormones, anxiety about the state the house has gotten into over the years or just a feeling of being very restricted in how much I can do which has left me struggling to fulfil many obligations. I think a mixture of all three.

The act of emptying out those draws was so cathartic though. Just putting things in rows and straitening out draws and making the decision to get rid of things I know I will never use really helped.

The midday prayer also helped, as prayer always does. By the time I went to the Sunday afternoon Sisters halaqa (study circle) I felt calm again. I spent the afternoon exhausting myself cleaning and cooking. Having Little Lady in tow helping with throwing spices into the pot, measuring out rice, finding ingredients and washing vegetables was nice, a bit like making amends for all of the loud scolding in the morning.

I think I am going to continue with the big clear out, half an hour at a time – just what I can manage. I am also going to try very hard to find a space in the day where I can rest – every single day! It’s a small thing, but such a big mental shift for me to be able to stop doing all of the time and just be for a while. For today, that quiet, restful space will be my mum’s sofa I think.

First Summer Harvest

Little Man has been watching his strawberry patch for the last few days and giving me daily reports on it. I had to stop him and Gorgeous from eating the strawberries whilst they were still green.





Yesterday he called me out to the garden to ask if the strawberries were red enough yet. I let him bring in his little harvest.



I visited my uncle and aunt to see their beautiful new baby girl yesterday afternoon and my uncle got his son to pick me some peas, the only thing thats grown in his garden full of plants so far this year (everyone seems to have planted late this year).




I knew I would never get to cook them, the kids are sitting on my bed as I type and Little Lady reads aloud, eating them raw.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Picture of the Day: From Garden to Kitchen

I like having Little Lady or Little Man in the kitchen with me when I am cooking. They are handy for fetching and washing vegetables, handing ingredients over and occasionally stirring the pot. Their favourite is adding the spices and watching the colours in the pot change.

On this occasion I sent Little Lady into the garden to bring in some mint so that she could make some mint chutney in the blender (recipe here). The gloves are in case of spiders.








I love the idea of having fresh ingredients from the garden – with their more intense aromas and taste. Most of all though I want the kids to see how much trouble it is to get enough from your garden for even on meal – the patience and care this takes. I want them to have some awareness of the effort it takes to bring the multitude of food into the kitchen and what a blessing this really is.

Friday, 15 June 2012

Wedding Outfits and Finding an Abaya

Preparations for Fashionista’s wedding later this year are gathering pace in the family. We have sorted out most of the big things now – venues, decor, food (the one thing you CANNOT get wrong at an Asian wedding). Fashionista has found her wedding dress which is absolutely stunning (and nothing like what she originally planned) and another dress for her walima (grooms reception) which we are waiting to see.

I am trying to sort out outfits for my kids and hubby. Some have come from Pakistan courtesy of my mum and others I have found here. I always find the boys easy to buy formal clothes for. For my daughter, it takes much more searching because the colour scheme in all of the Asian shops seems to be limited to teal, pink, purple and royal blue, so I am still looking. My mum did suggest I find a mini version of my sisters wedding dress. I have seen one of the bridesmaids dress up as a mini version of the bride at some weddings in Pakistan, but didn’t think this was a good idea.







Mine are always the most difficult. I wear abaya’s at weddings and just change the colour to go with my sisters outfits. I found most abaya’s online for either black, too tight, or way above my budget (I can’t justify paying £300 for what is supposed to be modest dress).

In the end, after much searching and trawling through much rubbish, I found a shop on Green Street called SS Designers. I don’t usually promote businesses, but this one was a joy and I am mentioning in case someone has the same difficulty I had finding an abaya for an occasion. They had a basement full of abaya type dresses, when I found them over my budget (approx £100), they found some about £50 above my range and put the price down. Then they redesigned the whole thing to create the colour of dress and the type of embroidery I wanted. Most importantly, they changed the shape so that it accommodated what will be my then seven and a half month baby bump including moving pieces of embroidery away from the stomach and creating empire line shapes. The changes didn’t cost any extra and the dresses will be ready in four weeks (many places told us it takes 2-3 months), so I will see if they live up to my expectations, but I am happy so far. They are also happy to adjust the abaya’s again after I have had the baby.

I am off to Green Street again tomorrow to help Fashionista choose jewellery for her henna, help my mum pick some bling to go with her wedding day outfit and find something blue for Little Lady.





Thursday, 14 June 2012

Identity, Ownership…and Litter?

I recently worked on a project where I had to do some research around litter and initiatives around the country to tackle the amount of litter people throw in the streets. It was an interesting project and I learned a lot, but one thing stood out – people throw litter in the streets but not in their homes (I hope anyway). They have a sense of ownership regarding their home, but not the street outside of their home, or their neighbourhood or their city.

It struck me that this is very much the case with Muslims. I remember going to the first Islam Channel Global Peace and Unity event (in 2009?) and one of the things I remember from that event is the ridiculous piles of rubbish left everywhere around the venue. The second time I attended, I went with my husband who was making deliveries for the event caterer, so I got to see the venue at the end of the day and the souk area looked like a sea of rubbish.

I felt disappointed, after all Muslims are supposed to exhibit the best manners right? Often in places I have visited where there are large Muslim communities; there have also been large amounts of litter dumped in the street. I don’t think this is necessarily a result of there being a lot of Muslims there, there are multiple factors (like some Muslim communities having greater levels of deprivations and living in areas that are already run down and dirty). But it is saddening that we don’t seem to care.

One thing that might contribute to this is the culture some Muslim communities have brought to this country. I have seen people in Pakistan just lob their rubbish into the street once they are done with it, my relatives included. Perhaps people in other cultures around the world don’t have the same bugbear about litter that many of the English do – although I can’t imagine any culture that encourages people to make the place they live in dirty.

I think another factor is that many Muslims don’t have enough of a sense of ownership over the neighbourhoods and communities they live in. The first generations of South Asians certainly came here with the intention to earn money and then return and many of them did. Subsequent generations have lived with confusion over where they belong – Britain? England? Scotland? Pakistan? Bangladesh? India? Where was home? Here or “back home”? They mostly didn’t want to go back to where their parents or grandparents came from, they didn’t always feel fully accepted here and there was also a strange logic in the background, that if you said you were English or British, you were betraying your roots in some way. Perhaps because of this, we never developed the sense of belonging we should have.

I think that this is happening now, with the younger generations starting to affirm their Britishness, and with a British Islam emerging that allows us to claim Britain as home without feeling we are being disloyal to our faith (by showing loyalty to a Christian country?)

The litter is still there though. I would love to see Muslims with a reputation for being the cleanest, more responsible people in the country. I would love to see areas where there are concentrations of Muslims to be clean and safe, with a positive reputation, so that people are happy to walk through such places. This might sound like a pipe dream, but a lady I once met in Birmingham told me, she liked living in a “Muslim area” because she felt safer.

I rather like the example of the Japanese, who have a reputation for leaving a place cleaner than they found it – on attending concert and sports venues, not only will they take their own rubbish away with them, but any they find there (I vaguely recall a television commentator mentioning this about their attendance at an international sports event – but can’t remember which).

I have taken this quite seriously with my children since they were very small. I either ask them to hold onto rubbish such as food packaging until they pass a bin or give it to me. They now do this as second nature, especially with the messages about littering and the environment that they get from school. I like how shocked they always are when they see an adult dropping litter.

As part of my research I came across the Litter Project, which basically encourages us all to resolve to pick up just one piece of litter a day. My children love this and I have to stop them from picking up more than one piece of litter or picking up something inappropriate (wet, sticky, dangerous).

I was impressed by how many communities had taken ownership of the areas they live in and undertaken litter picks and clean up days. I liked also that there were a number of Muslim environmental groups (WIN, IFEES, Muslim Green Team, Green Muslims, AMEN, RITE, SHINE, etc) that champion the care of our environment.

So it seems we are taking a role in tackling this problem, but I would love to see more people stepping up, showing they care for the places they live in and making a difference. As Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhrey put it at the Twins of Faith conference earlier this year – If all of the Muslims left the UK, who would it make a difference to, would anyone even care? I think it’s our job to make enough of a difference that people are glad to have Muslims amongst them.

Little Lady Fashion

I love the brightly coloured clothes of Pakistan, but mostly I like seeing them on other people. Both of Little Lady's Grandmothers really like to go to town when it comes to her clothes.

My mum just brought back the dress below. I like the shape which is a bit like a ringmasters jacket, with the back being slightly longer than the front. The colour and the enbroidery is fab too.




Mum brought back this too. Hubby did a second take when he saw this one. But Little Lady seems to love it.



This one though, brought back from Pakistan by mum-in-law, has to be the pièce de résistance of Little Lady's wardobe this year. The picture doesn't quite do the luminous green shade justice. She can't wait it to wear it.





I can't really poke fun. My favourite outfit as a ten year old was a flourescent pink and green satin shalwar kameez with puff shoulders. I wore the thing to death. I would have post a picture of me wearing it Kew Gardens many years ago, but thankfully that picture is buried deep in the back of cupboards at my mums house.