Snooker Fun and Tantrums

My dad stopped by this week and randomly brought in and assembled a snooker table.  He thought it would be better than the kids watching too many cartoons (erm, we don't have a TV).

 The kids were on it like a shot and have been knocking the balls about ever since.  I sent my mum a picture and she thought it was hilarious, she was having visions of them beating each other with the snooker cues.

It's actually great fun and it's kept them (semi) occupied through the last few days of their winter holidays.  Someone has even drawn on the lines, which I htought was quite funny. 

Two of my friends came to visit us this week.  One of them is the wife of the emir (leader) in our local masjid and very practising mash'Allah.  I wondered if she was going to see the snooker table and tell us off.  The first thing she did was flip back her niqab and grab a cue!

Obviously with two cues and three kids old enough to hold them, the peace wasn't going to last.  Gorgeous seriously knows how to let the whole world know he is upset.  Can't wait till hubby is back (11 days!) as I know he used to play a lot when he lived in Pakistan.  Might have to tag-team with the kids.

Reviewing 2012 and Looking Forward to 2013

We don’t celebrate New Year as the Islamic New Year started in mid-November.  However this changing of the calendar is as good a time as any to review how we have spent the last twelve months and how we can do better in the coming year.

I received an e-mail in my inbox from Sheikh Muhammad Alshareef this morning which came at just the right moment (slightly abridged):

At this moment, as we bid farewell to 2012, I can tangibly feel the words of the Prophet,
sal Allah alayhi wa sallam, "The Pens have been raised, and the ink has dried."

2012's ink has dried. 
And it's time for reflection.

I'm NOT going to give you a list of questions to ask yourself.
Just one question, and it's all that matters: 

DO YOU FEEL ALLAH IS PLEASED WITH 
HOW YOU SPENT 2012?

Because if Allah is pleased with what you've done, then success is yours.

Following the hadith of the Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, "Verily Allah is Good and Pure, and He only accepts that which is good and pure."

It made me think about the last year and what was significant for me.  I probably had one of the toughest years of my life with my sixth pregnancy taking everything out of me.  There was so much happening around me and I could not fully participate – Fashionista’s wedding, the Olympics, a review at work, new projects and opportunities.  It was a lesson in how life might look like when you don’t have your independence and health and full mobility that will stay with me always and which makes me grateful for my health.

I found the strength to keep on pushing myself and to keep on going and getting the things done I had to do.  When hubby left for South Africa late last year, I had to go back to being strong, independent and fairly disciplined.  It was just the thing I needed to remind me of the person I had once been before I turned into a mess last year and just the mindset I needed to move forward with my life.  I’ve gained many things from my husband going out to do the work Allah (SWT) willed for him, but the greatest of these has been to find myself in strong place which I believe I will be able to draw from for the rest of my life insh’Allah.

My pregnancy also made me see a side of myself I didn’t like so much – I was very down and short tempered, everything upset me and I took everything personally.  This impacted on my relationship with my mum-in-law as I did not have the patience to be gentle or to think of others.  We are on fairly good terms but I think there is need for a little bridge building in our hearts.  We may go to stay with her in Pakistan during the children’s Easter holidays if we can afford to, otherwise both she and dad-in-law will be back next summer and we will see how things go.

I also enjoyed working for the Olympic team set up in the organisation I work for.  It was a fantastic learning curve and I benefitted so much professionally.  When I went back to my old team, I realised that I could not do the job any longer or I would go crazy from the tedium.  Thankfully my maternity leave started at just the right time and I was able to step away from work for a while and my manager assured me the job would be very different when I went back, something I have set aside from my mind for now.

My younger sister Fashionista’swedding was a bitter sweet experience for me.  It was a fantastic wedding and we had so much fun partying for days and getting to be creative.  But she moved out of town and we see much less of her.  At the same time we have acquired the nicest brother in law you can imagine.

The sweetest moment of 2012 was the birth of my fourth child, my sweet, happy little girl.  The sheer relief and release of the moment and also finally meeting my lovely daughter was something I will never forget (as was the crazy twenty-minute labour).  Going in to 2013, she continues to be a source of pure joy and has changed our lives in so many ways.  She has made me look at my children in  a new way – the way they care for and interact with her, especially Little Lady and the reminder that they were once so tiny and sweet (except Gorgeous, that boy was never tiny).

Being pregnant and miserable also meant that my worship was at the minimum I could get away with.  Things are still not much better in this regard due to the tiring routines of a two month old, but I am working on it insh’Allah, this time with the kids in tow and by trying to include them.

I hope to go into 2013 with lots of positive energy and plans.  I have become more realistic in what I can achieve with the workload of motherhood and a busy home and so I hope to prioritise fewer things which are more important to me.

I am hoping to enrol in an Quranic Arabic course to improve my understanding of the Quran.  Sister Sumaiyah has helped me to find one which might be the right one for me insh’Allah (just waiting to hear of my application has been accepted).

One of the things we have been working on for the last two months or so is a daily study circle with the kids each evening.  This is less than half an hour and comprises of 15 minutes or so on hadith and ten minutes on the sunnah or traditions of our beloved Prophet (PBUH).  This has had a tangible impact on the children and is something we hope to work on further.

This is the penultimate year before Little Lady has to start high school (which is quite scary).  Instead of freaking out, I have started looking at our options and planning for various eventualities, so this might mean changes in our lives this year (whether moving house or spending a year coaching her for exams or getting ready to send her to our local catchment area school which I attended and which is pretty rubbish).

I saw very little of hubby last year due to a masjid project he was working on.  It was well worth it, but still hard to see so little of him.  So this year I plan to be selfish and take back some of his time, I think it does us both good and whilst patience is good, playing a martyr when it’s not in your nature doesn’t do  anyone any good.

The other things I hope to do for myself is to learn to drive and sew at some point and to get better at cooking.  I want to try new foods (other than curry and chapatti every day) and have a healthy diet for my family.

There was so much that was unexpected last year and much of it was good.  There will be so much this year and I hope to meet it with an open heart and mind and to make the most of what comes this way during the coming months, but this time with patience and grace.  After being a misery guts last year I want to find the positive, happy, adventurous woman I was in my twenties and introduce her to the stronger woman I am in my thirties who has much more purpose in her life and clarity of direction insh’Allah.

What will you remember 2012 for and what are your big plans for 2013?

Deen Creations Cross Stitch Kits

This year I came across Deen Creations by a lovely local sister: Lelya Amatullah.  She has turned her love of cross stitch into a business selling cross stitch kits and personalised gifts.

I decided to try out one of her cross stitch kits, thinking it would be easy and take no time at all.  I got this one to try and keep my hands busy and my mind occupied whilst I was pregnant.  I managed to get the pattern wrong in the first attempt and had to start again.  On the second attempt I managed to get a quarter done.  I still have a way to go, but hardly ever have my hands free now to finish it, so I am hoping I can get Little Lady to help me complete this.  Luckily there is a generous amount of thread, enough to accommodate my mistake.

image source

In all, I think this is a lovely kit and a really nice product.  It's not as easy as I thought and will take a bit of care and patience to complete.  I think this would be nice to complete and hand in my in-laws room for when they are back in a few months (Crafty Muslimah Sister Washi also tried out one of these and completed hers, you can see her review and the finished cross stitch here).

image source

Picture of the Day 31.12.12 - Home Made Biscuits

Fashionista Sister came to visit this week and brought some biscuits she had made herself.  They tasted good, with that fresh home made taste.

She knows hubby is away so she makes the effort to come down and spend some time with me and the kids.  She even does the washing up for me whilst she is here and keeps the kids in line.  The kids love her being here.  She stayed overnight and stayed downstairs with Little Lady past midnight.  They think I don't know they were up.  They didn't know I was up past 1am reading so knew they weren't in bed.

Puzzle and Game Find

I have been trying to keep the kids busy this week without resorting to back to back TV.  I thought of buying them some board games which we could play together or some jigsaws which my boys like, but found them rather pricey.  In the end I found some bargains at a local charity shop including unused Scrabble and Monopoly Deluxe games for £4 each (RRP £20 and £25 each in the high street).

Playing Scrabble with my boys was an interesting experience, especially when I put "enema" on the board and they all wanted to know what it was!

I also found a couple of puzzles for between £1 and £3 each.  The one below took Kooky Little Sister about two hours to make...

...before Gorgeous jumped on it.






















The puzzles turned out to be a good investment because the kids have played with them every day.  They'll also come in handy next time I have my sisters and cousins round for dinner (We've already had one game of scrabble with eight of us and it was great fun)

Little Ladies Journal

I recently had the idea of creating a journal for Little Lady to keep her occupied during the holidays.  It was originally meant for half term break in October, but I never managed to get it finished at the time.

I had this lovely book full of thick plain paper which I had been saving for something special,  

I started with a message for LL





















I found the inspiration for the pages from various places, including various journalling websites.  I thought it would be good for her to explore her inner world and learn to articulate her thoughts.

She started filling in the pages as soon as I gave it to her.  This was my favourite bit in the journal  (number six about her little sister).

I'm very interested to see what the letters below will look like, especially the one to her dad (as the two are always squabbling).

I know this will keep her occupied, now i just have to think of lots of things to do with the boys, although I am starting each day asking them what they would like to do so we can plan the day together.  

At the moment, they have disappeared downstairs whilst I feed the baby and type this with one hand and I can hear the hoover.  I asked Little Man what they are doing and he tells me that Little Lady is washing dishes and he is hoovering.  A pretty good start to the day I reckon!  Let's see how long this lasts.

Finding Things To Do

Usually the children's holidays are something I and hubby look forward to.  No school run, no pack lunches, bags or uniforms and lots of time together.  This time round I am wondering what I am going to do with them and how I am going to keep my sanity.  I remember now why mum used to be so relieved when the five of us rowdy siblings went back to school after holidays.

There is little happening at the moment that doesn't involve Santa's grotto or making Christmas cards or decorations, so I took them to see an exhibition of South Indian performance costumes (Kathakali).

Little Man's first comment? "This is boring! Is this it?".  We had a good look round and the kids seemed engrossed.  As we left Little Man again commented "this is booorrriiing!"

I am going to have to think of things to do with this lot other than watch films on iplayer and places to go other than the shopping centre.

One-Dish Party

I attended a one-dish party yesterday.  All of the sisters from our Islamic circle were invited.  I got all excited because I don't usually go to this kind of thing.  I had assumed that all of the sisters do these all the time and invite each other and that I was missing out because I worked (and maybe because I am one of the few who don't wear niqab).

Which is stupid really, because the lady who organised it told me they did it once a year and they sooo looked forward to it.  Also because this isn't high school and I haven't just been invited to join the group of popular girls (especially considering niqabi's haven't exactly been celebrated in this country in the last few years).

Any way, I found something nice to wear.  I learnt my lesson after the last time I got invited to a women's only do with mainly niqabi's.  When these ladies get to dress up, boy do they dress up.  As one of my dearest friends said "we supress it and supress it, we can't even get dressed up at weddings because some guy will come wandering round, so when we let go, we really let go" (she was wearing head to toe hot pink and lots of gold jewellery when she said this).

Baby (I think I'm going to call her Darling on this blog because that's what Little Lady has named her anyway) wore the flouncy new dress that Fashionista's brother-in-law bought for her.

I was exempted from cooking anything because of Darling, but felt like making something, so made aloo chaat (recipe here) and baked chicken (recipe here)

I had a really nice time and it was lovely to have such nice company.  The food was gorgeous too, although a lot of sisters had made some variation or other of chicken (note to self - the salad all disappeared  so make some type of salad next time).




















The lady of the house was kind enough to pack some to take with us, so I even had my dinner sorted.  The nicest thing though was that all of the ladies present were practising sisters - the things we talked about were fun, useful or interesting, but never dirty and definitely no backbiting, which is rare in a group of women unfortunately.  They also remembered to mention Allah (SWT):

Abu Hurayra stated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:"No people sit in a gathering in which Allah Almighty is not mentioned and in which their Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, is not blessed without it being a cause of great diminishment for them. If He likes, He will punish them, and if He likes, He will forgive them." - Tirmidhi

It was a lovely way to spend a few hours and made my day.  I think I might organise one of these soon too.  I just have to make sure the kids don't find out.  They seem to think I am at home cooking and cleaning and waiting for them to come home from school.  If they find out I am having fun, they will refuse to go to school.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:“A person is on the religion of his companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully consider the company he keeps.” - Tirmidhi

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.”  - Bukhari, Muslim

Picture of the Day 17.12.12 - Little Foodie

One thing I and Little Man share in common is our love of food.  He is the most likely to take turns with me in visiting the kitchen to raid the cupboards and he is the most likely to be found in the kitchen nosing around when I am cooking.

This kid loves fruit of every kind.  He is the only one patient enough in our house to sit and de-seed  a pomegranate and cuts one open every day after school.

These are in season somewhere at the moment so we are getting them very sweet and juicy.  I usually take a few from the top of his bowl.

Giveaway Reminder: Making Memories My Memories Suite Software

Last Sunday I announced a give-away for the making Memories Scrap-booking Software.  There are two days to go to leave a comment if you would like to win a copy.

The MyMemories Suite Digital Scrapbooking Software is worth $39.95 (US) and can be used for photobooks, custom printing, banners, cards and printable templates as well as for scrap booking.

If you would like to win a copy, just visit the Making Memories website and choose your favourite digital kit, then please leave a comment on this post saying what you would like to use the software for.  You can visit the Making Memories website and read more about the My Memories Suite being offered here.

The winner will be chosen  on Sunday 16th December 2012 and announced shortly after.

A Bad Day Made Better

You know those days, when things start going wrong and then they just keep going wrong?  The kind of day better spent in bed until it’s over?  That’s the kind of day I had yesterday.

I was woken at am by a blazing toothache – both the tooth and sinus pain combined at a time when I can’t really take strong painkillers because i am nursing.  I made dua until the pain subsided somewhat and I fell back asleep.

I ended up missing my dawn prayer.  Because I am breastfeeding, my body is a little all over the place and every now and again I am really unclear as to whether I should pray not (Muslim women don’t pray when they are menstruating).  I know the rulings, but still ending up having doubts.

I managed to get the kids ready for school and out of the door, but on the way a car clipped Little Man as we were crossing and then sped off without stopping.  It scared the life out of me and totally broke my heart that someone could leave my boy in a heap in the street.  Thankfully he was not seriously hurt.  His cheek was bruised and he was shaken.  The road was icy, so the car had reversed a little and knocked and he slipped over.

I calmed him down, got the others to school and then spoke to his teacher to let her know what had happened and that I would be taking him home.  I got him checked out at a local walk-in centre and was given the all-clear (after waiting over an hour to be seen for barely five minutes).

On the way to the walk-in centre, I posted some parcels.  Twenty minutes later I remembered I had put the baby’s change bag down in the post office and forgot to pick it up.  We rushed back and found it still sitting on the floor by the counter. 

Whilst we were at the walk-in centre I was thinking to myself that I had to be positive and not think “what next”.  I prayed to Allah (SWT) to turn my day around and to protect my children.  Guess what?  Allah (SWT) is the best of helpers and the one who listens to our prayers.  As I waited to see a doctor, Fashionista sister called to say she was nearly outside the clinic.

I had messaged my sisters to tell them what had happened and she had told her in-laws.  Her brother-in-law left work to drive her almost an hour from Luton to London.  They picked us up from the centre and took us home.  They bought us lunch, washed a sink full of dishes and kept us company.  Fashionista the insisted on cooking for us and left two big pots of food (the girl has inherited my mum’s knack for cooking - yummy chicken curry and brown daal below).

Kooky Little Sister dropped by after work with lego to distract the kids (lego baker set for Little Lady below)  and Shutterbug Sister soon followed to see how the kids were.  Alhamdlillah, I felt very lucky to have these guys around me to lend me their support when I needed it.

The police came round in the evening to explain what could happen next (I have to fill out a form and then they will speak to the driver).  I am usually terrified of police, but the one who came to see me was the weediest policeman ever and very nice.  I only had half the number plate and no details from the only witness.  However, on the way to school to pick the children up, I saw the same car again and noted the plates – the driver was not there.  I also saw the car of the witness and noted her number plate too.  I wouldn't have pursued the matter as Little Man wasn't seriously hurt, but for the fact that this person didn't stop.  I kept thinking, what if he had been older and I hadn't been there, my kind son would have been left crying in a heap on the road.

Little Man is fine now, apart from a phone call from his school this morning saying he had tripped and bruised his head, but was well enough to stay in school.  This to add to the bruise he got last week when he bumped into one of the big boys.  He really is one of those children who falls over his own feet. 

Strangely enough, I got a call from my in-laws this evening.  It was 2am at their end (Pakistan time).  I thought it was a bit strange they were calling me at that time just to ask how everything was, until dad-in-law mentioned he’d had a bad dream that worried him and he wanted to know we were okay.  I told him what had happened and that Little Man was fine and he wasn't to worry.